There were two elders living in a cell, and they never had so much as one quarrel with one another. One therefore said to the other: "Come on, let us have at least one quarrel, like other men." The other said: "I don’t know how to start a quarrel" The first said: "I will take this brick and place it here between us. Then I will say: it is mine. After that, you will say: It is mine. This is what leads to a dispute and a fight." So then they placed the brick between them, one said: "It is mine" and the other replied to the first: "I do believe that it is mine". The first one said again: "It is not yours, it is mine." So the other answered: "Well then, if it is yours, take it!" Thus they did not manage after all to get into a quarrel.
-from The Wisdom of the Desert Fathers.
In order to have peace, we must learn to let go of the need to own. We want to claim and hold possessions and people and even circumstances and moments of our life. But these are only illusion. I’m not saying that nothing is real, but only that much of what makes us unhappy is a matter of perspective, of needing to feel we can and must own (and thus control). But we can decide to enjoy the people in our lives without defining them as extensions of ourselves, to keep our arms open to both receive them as they come and to bless them if they go, to hold those material things which are in our possession with a relaxed grip, prepared to enjoy them or to let them go as we find the circumstances of our lives changing. To make our plans but allow God to shape them as he will without resentment or regret. Like the monks, we can learn to say: "Take it then!"
blessings,
sam
